If you’re feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and just tired of being surrounded with all things baby/children, you are most likely a stay-at-home parent. For so many, it’s a thankless, 24-7 job that often earns little (if any) kudos in the modern world. We spend our days and nights on the schedule of our tiny little bosses and sometimes feel we would give anything to have a bathroom break alone. That’s why love and support is often imperative to our mental health.
Last Saturday, Affirmation by Mr. Right on Facebook posted an reminder of what we all should try to tell ourselves when we are covered in baby vomit, chasing after a bub who has just discovered the wonder of walking or crawling, or cleaning – endlessly cleaning – all day long:
STAY-AT-HOME MUMS (Warning – long post!)
I’ve got to share a conversation that I had with my husband with you because if you are a stay-at-home mum who has had one of those days where you’ve felt beaten, doubtful and jaded by the end of the day….this might change your perspective on your role. It did for me.
So I was complaining the other day to husband that I never get anything done with my 15 month old and 4 year old children at home. My list of chores hardly gets a smudge let alone wiped clean and life as a stay-at-home mum is exhausting! After some time, he says to me… I think you have forgotten why you’ve been ‘employed’ by us…..??? I’m confused, but he goes on to say,
‘If you died tomorrow and you had all the money in the world, who would YOU pay to raise your children when you’re gone? He specified that if it couldn’t be him or family members….who would I trust? Who would I trust to love them, to nurture them, to challenge them, who would know their routines, their idiosyncrasies, their medical history, their diets, their moods, their likes, their sensitivities and their hurdles….who could offer all of this to them?’
Then he asked, ‘And if, by miracle, you found someone who COULD provide all of this, in a full-time position, who was willing to work EVERYDAY, in sickness or in health……what would you be willing to pay them?’
‘Thousands.’ I said, without hesitation.
‘But even then, they could not do a better job than you are doing. YOU are THE expert on our children. THE Specialist. Quite frankly, we could not afford your services…..and yet, that is what you provide everyday for our children. You are not ‘employed’ to clean the floors, make the dinners, wash the clothes, etc…if these things get done, it is a bonus, NOT an expectation. You are ‘employed’ as the state-of-the-art, expert in the field of raising our children…..and darling, you’re doing an exceptional job.’
He is a bit of a legend and the conversation really has changed my perception of my role as a stay-at-home mum.
Hope it might yours…if you’ve had one of those days. x – from Affirmation by Mr. Right
From all of us who needed to hear it, thank you to Kate Wright and her wonderful partner for reminding us of what matters in the most unforgiving mummy-moments. We all know that we are lucky to be able to watch our little ones grow but it never hurts to have a reminder of how important being a parent truly is.